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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Neon Shadows

by FESSA

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1.
Pensieri disfunzionali La mia mente non funziona Cerco il mio riflesso Fra le note musicali Mi mancano le parole Ma voglio solo cantare La la la la la la la la la
2.
Angst 02:16
Angst, Angst, Angst Angst von mir, Angst von dir, Angst vor allem Angst, Angst, Angst Angst von mir, Angst von dir, Angst vor allem Angst, Angst, Angst Angst verschlingt meine Gedanken, stille Schreie, ich kann nicht atmen
3.
Footsteps eco but no one is near The heart beats out of unexpressed fear Mirror reflection, distorted truths In the real of doubt lost in mind Paranoia go away Chasing shadows, lost in fear Every whisper, every glance, Fuel the fire in my fucking mind Is it a real or just a trick of mind A tangle of thoughts, that won´t leave Haunted by ghosts no one else sees Paranoia I face my fears Is it real or just a trick of my mind? Paranoia, paranoia, paranoia, paranoia
4.
No more intertwining of tongues for me No more quick fingers on my dried clit No more plans, dreams, hope for me Only this useless eternal void And it blinds and strangles me Only the melancholy in the eyes Of the one who no longer wants to see Only me, with myself and the other me
5.
Hope 02:17
My therapist told me to reach out to my friends When depression hits, that's where the healing begins I looked for their help, but all I received Were sad little faces, and then they dissapeard I´m alone now with my music it´s true My cries went unread and my friendships are gone In this loneliness, I will find the strength to survive With my melodies, i will keep hope alive I said no so often that they stopped to ask me out Now I'm left in the shadows, full of doubt But my songs are my confort, my loner´s game In the world of music I will find my flame I´m alone now with my music it´s true My cries went unread and my friendships are gone In this loneliness, I will find the strength to survive With my melodies, i will keep hope alive

about

Two months ago, depression hit me hard again. My pills didn't work, I spent whole days in bed or on the couch, without energy, full of pain, empty of emotion. But, in the few moments of respite, I wrote five deeply personal songs.
These songs reflect my struggle with depression and borderline personality disorder.

It is ironic how those who "know" me often find it hard to believe that I struggle with depression. They see me as a radiant and cheerful individual, unaware of the emptiness that consumes me inside.

Music is my therapy. When I am on stage, with my songs, the energy of the people, I am myself, I don't wear masks that weigh like boulders,I feel happy. I know other people are in similar situations, fighting their battles in silence. They too are adept at masking their pain, their voice is muffled by the weight of their battles. It is for them, as for me, that I sing these songs. To offer comfort to those who feel alone. You are not alone.

Let's destigmatize mental health together!



Special thanks go to my psychologist Dr. Ms. Schiller-Kanior, my psychiatrist, my ergo therapist, and my partner for their support.


Written, recorded, mixed and mastered by me, myself, and the other me.

credits

released February 23, 2024

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about

FESSA Berlin, Germany

Fessa is a feminist, DIY solo project, born in Berlin during the lockdown of 2021.
Hidden behind bass loop reminiscent of the 80s, pop sounds and fuzzy guitars are messages of self-love, fights against patriarchy, assertion of rights, anxieties and mental disorders. ... more

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