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Stiletti and spiders

from D​.​I​.​Y. by FESSA

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about

Many people don’t know when they’re in a toxic relationship. They may have never been in one before, so they don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like.

Even if they’ve been in a toxic relationship before, it can be hard to know when they’re getting into another one. Maybe their previous partners weren’t abusive or neglectful, but maybe they were selfish and demanding instead.

If you don’t know what healthy love looks like, chances are you’ll mistake abuse for affection or intimidation for respect. And because many forms of abuse are subtle at first – such as when someone is in denial about their experiences – it’s easy to miss the signs until it’s too late.

What are the signs of a toxic relationship?
1. Lack of support
2. Toxic communication
3. Envy or jealousy
4. Controlling behaviors
5. Resentment
6. Dishonesty
7. Patterns of disrespect
8. Negative financial behaviors
9. Constant stress
10. Ignoring your needs
and so on

lyrics

At first it was all wonderful
He was charming, sweet, funny
I thought I found the right one
the one to grow old with
but I didn't know that
I couldn't be more wrong
I told you all my secrets
and you used them against me
You lied to me
I gave you a home, dreams, food
and you tried to destroy me
in a thousand pieces but I'm stronger than you,
you´ll see

I won´t give you my mind
Get out of my head
I can´t change myself
To please you


and then winter came
my frozen thoughts
it wasn't me anymore
I just wanted to make you happy and not mad at me
but the more I tried, the more wrong I was, I didn't know why
everything I did was not enough for you
from how I dressed, talked, thought
the confident woman was gone
instead of her there was this sick one
who just wanted to sleep
and never wake up again

I won´t give you my mind
Get out of my head
I can´t change myself
To please you


after you humiliated and used me for months
you wanted to put me down
and be sure that I would never get up but you were wrong
you repeated to me you're fat, you're old, you're ugly, you're not worth
until these words stuck in my mind and I believed them
not happy you threatened me with death
and you wonder why
I went to the police and reported you?
I won't let you destroy another life
I´m stronger than you
And now is my turn to put you down

I won´t give you my mind
Get out of my head
I can´t change myself
To please you

credits

from D​.​I​.​Y., released December 23, 2022

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all rights reserved

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about

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FESSA Berlin, Germany

Fessa is a feminist, DIY solo project, born in Berlin during the lockdown of 2021.
Hidden behind bass loop reminiscent of the 80s, pop sounds and fuzzy guitars are messages of self-love, fights against patriarchy, assertion of rights, anxieties and mental disorders. ... more

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